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Hmm, good point.

[he considers this over some nachos]

What do you think we should do?

Do you have a good sense of what exactly you're worth dying for? Something like a specific unit or situation. Perhaps only in games where you can broadcast what you're doing.

Hhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

[He actually has to think about this-- how to put a name on it and put it into words. He leans back in his chair and stares out at the scenery, elbow on the table, cheek in hand.]

...

...You may not have noticed this about me because I'm so extremely subtle about it, but I'm not very good at coping with grief. Sometimes my grief after these games, even the ones where we've won, has been worse, more painful, and lasts longer than some of the physical punishments I've experienced.

So if I have a choice, I'd rather pick the punishment that will make me suffer the least, whether that's winning and coming through unscathed, or taking a dive so I can get it over with and don't have to deal with weeks or months of useless angst about it. I'm tired and lazy and would rather die than let these games affect me forever.

—But, of course, that's completely useless for my unit, isn't it! Or for anyone off-unit trying to predict what I'm going to do, since nobody can read my mind.

Maybe what I want is just not compatible with reality and I need to just force myself to deal with it!

Also wrong answer.

You just have to come up with a framework that will apply to all games. One that you and your unit can live with.

What makes you suffer the least shouldn't be decided after the punishments have been doled out, but beforehand.

Let's take that guest unit game, for example. What was your strategy and why did you choose it?

["A framework that will apply to all games" ok that sounds easy]

I think the general playstyle we're settling into is, "play as lightly as possible, but once our back is finally up against the wall, fight just as much as necessary."

In the guest unit game, we had three goals, in approximately this order:

[he counts them off on his fingers]

One: don't make any unit go into debt, including ours.
Two: don't get maimed or killed.
Three: do the least amount of harm possible.

Actually winning the game wasn't one of our priorities, since winning and safety weren't related, this time. All we had to do to "win" according to our own conditions was have at least one point by the end of the game.

So we played very light -- only one card per round for the first four rounds -- with considerations put toward which cards would cause the least amount of suffering, regardless of point value, as well as which units were most likely to be able to take a hit without being harmed.

We intentionally kept our score low to discourage people from sending us maim cards, but not so low that we didn't have a buffer in case someone did.

Edited 2020-01-15 11:33 (UTC)

[He plants his palms on the balcony, leaning back and thinking about that for a moment.]

So would it be safe to say you could follow those guidelines except a little more generalized. Protect all units from extra punishments. Then pep. Then playing light or whatever priority system you use when you have to choose between the units.

That's an understandable strategy for the soft units.

But also doesn't allow you to bus yourselves as the other units will think that you are in legitimate danger.

[rubbing his chin, thinking out loud]

It also may not be an option depending on which of us is in the game at the time. The only way we'd bus ourselves as a unit is if everyone present agrees to it, and there are scant few who would, at this point. Especially our newbies, who understandably have no reason to die to protect a bunch of randos they don't care about. And we've been having a nonstop stream of newbies since Tanabata.

So maybe, from an outside perspective, it might be safer to assume we'll be playing only the bare minimum until our situation gets dire -- that we'll let ourselves get picked at and pushed around until our lives are sufficiently threatened, and then we'll claw at the edge of the cliff so we don't fall off.

Maybe if we reserved the option to throw only certain types of games? Like the ones where we all act independently, like the button or arena games. Or ones like the guest game or balloon game, where the only way to assist other units is to refrain from hitting them in the first place. That way, units couldn't be tempted to risk themselves to help us.

...Not a ton of flexibility, but maybe more than nothing...?

Do you think that would help us be more predictable...?

If that's what your unit ultimately decide on, I will advise my unit that that is your stance. And they can vote accordingly.

And doesn't that alleviate two different pressure points - both being predictable and other units understanding your motivations.

Yeah, that might help, actually. I'll have to talk to my unit about it. And the people I made promises to.

[red tape?? in hell??? how could this be]

[he pours himself some of the homebrew Intensity brought. Let's find out what this is about to do to him]

...It was a 4-point card, by the way. "Heavy fatigue."

[Well it's a bottle from Kohime herself, which probably means it's mean to knock your socks off.

Or be a pleasant mixed cocktail.

Imbiber's choice]

Both three points. Minorly increase a negative trait and forget an acquaintance. You blocked the former, I'm not sure about the latter. Couldn't tell by the point distribution.

The other one hit Pink. I'm not sure who he forgot, though.

[it's a mixed cocktail. lovely!]

How do you guys choose who to hit?

... Of course.

[It didn't hit one of the super social ones (or at least from Intensity's limited knowledge of Pink).

Pours himself some more tequila]

After we laid out the units we didn't want to hit, there were six leftover. Easy to alternate three different units per round.

[don't worry, he's fine]

That worked out.

Do you always hit the same units every time?

Typically. About half the units are on our priority list, some of those which we have agreements with not to hit though I wouldn't call them alliances. And we choose from the remaining units.

The benefits of being introverted.

I always wondered how your unit did it - since I imagine someone has a friend on every unit.

Yeah, that's definitely true.

[helping himself to more nachos]

We have a handful of priority units that contain people's significant others or literal family members, but I'm not sure there's a single unit we could hit without someone being sad about it. So most of the time it comes down to, "we have to hit somebody, so who is most likely to survive what we send?"

In the guest game, for example, we wound up hitting several of our top priority units because they seemed least likely to go into debt. The cards we played on them were small, though, like sore throats and fatigue and "can't use the conbini for a day."

When the "do the least harm" system doesn't work, we have to fall back to taking only our priority units off the table. Just like everyone else, probably.

Like what happened in the balloon game. Or do you think with all the turnover since then, the current pep would play a different game?

Hmm....

I think the way we played would probably be the same. We played very lightly for the first few rounds, and when it looked like we were about to eat it, we played as hard as we needed to to survive, and squeaked through by only one point.

I think the only difference now would probably be which units we prioritize. Half the people who were in that game are gone. Now we have new people, new connections.

[he swirls his drink around, thoughtfully. The alcohol is starting to kick in, whew.]

When that last round came along and we knew we were going to die if we didn't hit one more unit, we'd already hit all our non-priority units. Nobody else would give up theirs, and time was running out, and something had to give. So I gave up future is now. Sunset and Sunshine had been protecting you until that point, too. We all folded to protect ourselves.

But then you died, and I was sure it was us who killed you, and I was... I was so angry. Because you guys had already died so much. It was so ffffucking unfair, what we did to you.

I don't think I've really stopped being angry about it.

But even though I keep going back over the situation in my head, I'm not sure what a better alternative would have been. If we hadn't hit someone, our unit would have died. If we hit someone else, then maybe one of my unitmates would be feeling this pain instead of me. None of those alternatives are better.

Edited 2020-01-20 08:43 (UTC)

You know. We haven't died since then. If you exclude the bullshit that happened to Duality during the guest stars arrival. And the House, since that's its own special cluster fuck.

[Takes a drink at remembering both of those unpleasant things]

But that was the turning point. Where we stopped playing soft in faith of the community.

I won't say you didn't kill us, because everyone who hit us did. But in turn, we also hit you in the first round of that game. So we were also willing to sacrifice you.

What's more frustrating is the wallowing in self-pity afterwards. Even in this last game with your Cotton Candy puff. Being hysterical and feeling sorry for yourself for having to make hard decisions. Blaming it on everything else besides your own hand. Was I willing to sacrifice your unit for mine? Absolutely.

But I don't make excuses for it besides that's what I want.

[he falls silent for a bit, staring out at the scenery.]

That's fair.

I guess if I'm going to be upset about it, then hitting you was meaningless.

Instead, I should say that I'm grateful my unit lived.

...I'm glad we lived.

I am also glad you lived. Though I have no qualifications to say that since I also agreed to attack your unit.

...

[Takes another drink]

Hopefully that means you can put some of those corpses in your mind graveyard to rest.

[...

... Hold on, this is literally the first time it's occurred to him that maybe Intensity cares what happens to him in games.

He feels... stupid? touched? sheepish? sentimental? ...tipsy? yes

He flushes a little... from the alcohol, ok. Shut up. Don't look at him.

...]

...That's the second time you mentioned that. The graveyard.

What did you mean, before, when you said my guilt was repaid twice over?

Edited 2020-01-26 03:10 (UTC)

[Intensity is thankfully not looking at Cobalt so he can enjoy his myriad of feelings over on his side of the balcony.

(Did Cobalt really think he was this "nice" to everybody?)]

We've hit you in two games since then. This latest guest unit game being one of them.

So it's not like we're sacrificing ourselves for you.

Only twice? I always just kinda assumed you probably hit us in every game.

[wait... how many games even have let us hit each other since then, he's trying to remember]

Well, you gotta hit somebody, especially if half the units are already off the table. The guest game goes to show there are times you can hit us without doing much harm, so it's not like I'm gonna be upset about that.

[For straight up hitting other teams, that would be two: Capitalism and GM Game. Not counting Battle Royale games.

Switching it up for the BARiTONES homebrew]

Low bar. Do you really get that much outwardly upset at anything?

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